(Un)official ranking of every cat face emoji on Emojipedia
For the lion version, I included a reminder of what actual lions looked like, since people…kinda don't always get that right.
But everyone knows what cats look like, right?
You want a cat picture anyway, don't you.
Alright, here's one by Rbreidbrown (CC BY-SA):
What an adorable fluffy little derp, demonstrating the classic
This is another flabby butt someone's drawn on with a marker pen. 1/10
Well, I'll give it credit for being a classic smilie but a cat, and happy about it. 4/10
|Google, Android 7.0|
So happy to be here! Has incomprehensible Japanese adventures. 8/10
The vacant, forgotten-tongue expression says chubby derp, but the angles are all old cartoon. Not a good idiot. Has walked catfood all over the carpet again after standing in their food bowl to drink. 3/10
|Microsoft, Windows 8.1|
It's a Baba Is You block, and not one you want to touch. 2/10
Making the eyes beadier does not make it less of a butt. 0/10
|Samsung, Experience 9.0|
This is one of those little round rubber feet you find on ’90s hardware with a wall-eyed catface drawn on it and sat on top of some ears. Has melted into horrible sticky goo by now. 3/10
Bit hamster but fine. 5/10
Blunt. Headbutts you repeatedly. Also patio doors. 6/10
Microsoft got the Hanna-Barbera cheeks, this got the nose. Constantly booping it against your hand while you try to drink. 6/10
A bland, souless creature. Is this Zuckerberg's fursona? 2/10
A daring grey buddy. Look at that smile. 8/10
This might be worse than that butt lion. 0/10
A simple cartoon friend, full of simple innocence. Has brought you a cool bug they found. 10/10
Same friend, less toon. Mewling excitedly because you stood up and might be going to the kitchen. 10/10
Forgot to put their tongue away after washing their butt. 8/10
'60s-revival-cartoon cat. Probably secret spy. Cannot escape "Joy" part of the name. 9/10
Can escape "Joy" part of the name. 3/10
OpenMoji, please, you can't draw everything as a kangaroo. 1/10
The wild eyes of a kitten that is preparing to bite your sleeping face. 6/10
This is a pikachu. NaN/10
oh god how did this get here, i am not good with computer/10
The poor thing's got mumps. 1/10
I think this is a naked baby rat or something. 1/10
Entirely functional kitty says hello. 5/10
Daring blue coat. Cheeky ^^ smile. 7/10
1997's is a tiny chunky boy. Got those lynx cheeks. 16/32 bits.
Functional minimalism. 4/10
The 1999 version is essence of ktn. ∞/∞
|au by KDDI, Type D-3|
Those arent ears, they're the horns of the devil hoodie it's wearing. Has already killed your family. 666/10
Conversely, Type C-2 can by pet by pressing X, and there's a Steam achievement for doing it. 4/10
But it's not a cat face, it's a whole cat, and by scoring it I've thus rendered this whole exercise invalid. Rats.
A parting thought
Kevin: You like the joypixels one?!?! Oh my, it terrifies me. It's eyes are just so weird and the mouth just completes the alien visage.
LionsPhil: It is definitely very, very cartoony.
LionsPhil: I mean the earlier JoyPixels is the one you started the conversation by liking.
Oh god, and the new JoyPixels one is awful
LionsPhil: All emoji you like will be ruined in time. 👍
LionsPhil: Shoulda just stuck with good ol' custom forum smilies.
Inspired, of course, by turtles. Images courtesy Emojipedia, and the work of/contracted-by the named companies.