The Official Tozol Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about tozols, REAL TOZOLS. This site is awesome. My name is Fredrick and I can't stop thinking about tozols. These things are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

  1. Tozols are mammals.
  2. Tozols fight ALL the time.
  3. The purpose of the tozol is to catch fire and kill people.

Weapons and gear:


Wzl bar Science pistol

All the equipment you need

Testimonial:

Tozols can kill anyone they want! Tozols cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they catch fire ALL the time. I heard that there was this tozol who was infiltrating a secret military base. And when some dude dropped a satchel charge the tozol killed the whole squad. My friend Horace said that he saw a tozol totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a containment tank.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that tozols have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Tozols are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Tozols are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start immolation next year. I love tozols with all of my body (including my hindtoes).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about tozols?

A: Tozols are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, tozols are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that tozols are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, tozols can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do tozols do when they're not catching fire or making out?

A: Most of their free time is spent catatonic, but sometime they twitch. (Ask Horace if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Horace showing off.
He's a lot older than me and almost done with having his face eaten by a sergal,
which is bragable.

A Real Ultimate Power parody. Original by Robert Hamburger.